{"product_id":"vegetable-murder-board-engraved-hevea-wood-cutting-board","title":"Vegetable Murder Board \/ Engraved Hevea Wood Cutting Board","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWarning: May contain puns and questionable humour!\u003c\/b\u003e 🔪\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eUnleash your inner kitchen mastermind with our hilariously macabre \"Vegetable Murder Board.\" This isn't just a chopping board; it’s a detailed guide to \"Body Disposal Techniques\" for your unsuspecting harvest. It captures the mystery of the \"Ultimate Other\" while turning your daily meal prep into a moment of dark whimsy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eCrafted from durable and sustainable \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003eHevea wood\u003c\/b\u003e (Rubberwood), this board is known for its dense grain and natural resistance to bacteria. It features a laser-engraved guide to culinary \"crimes\"—including Julienning, Chopping, Dicing, and Roll Cutting. Each technique is expertly illustrated, making it a functional guide for new chefs and a laugh for anyone with a penchant for gothic aesthetics and sarcastic storytelling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% Sustainable Hevea Wood\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDesign:\u003c\/b\u003e High-detail laser engraving featuring \"Body Disposal Techniques\" and anatomical vegetable diagrams\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFunctionality:\u003c\/b\u003e Built-in juice groove to catch the \"evidence\" and a sturdy wooden handle for easy transport\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVersatility:\u003c\/b\u003e Ideal for daily prep, as a serving board for your next dark feast, or as a statement piece for a gothic kitchen\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eFolklore \u0026amp; Care\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eIn history and folklore, the kitchen was often the heart of domestic magic and quiet transformation. We suggest maintaining this Hevea relic with the respect shown to any prized tool in your hoard. To preserve the intricate engravings and the integrity of the timber, please hand wash only with warm, soapy water. We recommend you \"prevent\" the use of a dishwasher and occasionally apply a food-safe mineral oil to \"maintain\" the wood's luster, ensuring your \"Murder Board\" remains a steadfast companion in your sanctuary for years to come.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Artistic Arsonist","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":57587435962703,"sku":null,"price":12.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0965\/3872\/2639\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_003d35ff-4c75-43ac-84c4-66c8e2701b86.png?v=1763901296","url":"https:\/\/www.theartisticarsonist.co.uk\/products\/vegetable-murder-board-engraved-hevea-wood-cutting-board","provider":"The Artistic Arsonist","version":"1.0","type":"link"}